...

Candace's Welcome to the Family party

2009-10-18T13:36:00.000-04:00

Candace and her cake

Candace opening gifts and Maya helping. Maya and her brother and parents drove from Terre Haute, IN on Friday night - got into GR at 1am just to suprise Candace and I on Saturday.

Reading her card before opening her gift.

Candace with all her gifts just before we unloaded. This is a 15 passenger van and it took up 3 full seats!!!!

I'm a MOM!!!!!

2009-08-31T17:31:00.002-04:00

For those of you who haven't heard yet, last week, I became a mom to this 16 year old in the picture with me.. She's the darker one in case you're having trouble figuring out who the 16 year old is with my youthfulness look! LOL!!! It was a whirlwind really - put the papers in on Friday - had a court date on Thursday - 7 days later! That's unheard of. Both of her parents are deceased so there wasn't anyone to serve papers to so we could get it done! She's lived with me all summer so it really isn't changing much but now she can unpack her bags and hopefully realize and feel this is forever. She has been bounced from family to family within her extended family for almost 3 years now. She's smart, beautiful, intellegent, wise and just an all around good girl who has been treated wrongly and not cared for as God would want her to be cared for. Now she can be safe and learn to trust - over time - that we are a forever family.

thursday, august 27, 2009

2009-08-24T03:07:00.002-04:00

This is the day that will forever be marked on my calendar. It's the day I become a mom. Usually - we only know this if we are having a c-section - but I know this because I am becoming guardian of a 16 year old girl from the neighborhood that needs a mom to walk through the rest of life with her. Both parents have been passed for almost 3 years now and the rest of the family has - well - not sure what you call it - but it's definately not taken good care of her. No one stepped up to be her guardian - so I am. I turned papers in on Friday and on the following Thursday - we have a court date...

Will post pictures once it all goes down.

Middle of summer...

2009-07-23T00:17:00.002-04:00

Wish there was an easy way to update this. It's hard to write on here at times in your life and I'm still in that funk.

I have seen many many ways that God has moved and worked over the last few months. In definately amazing ways and we are still waiting for Him to move in other ways. I've been asked this and have asked it myself but - wonder if anyone can tell me...

"How do you know when God's shutting a door?"

"How do you know when God's talking to you and you KNOW it's from God and not satan messin' with your head?"

"How do you continue with ministry when you know people are working behind your back to sabatoge?"

"How do you know when you're the one self sabatoging?"

These are just a few questions I've asked or have been asked the last few months and just really can't seem to answer these questions so am looking foward to your thoughts and ideas..

quiet... very quiet.....

2009-04-20T21:16:00.004-04:00

yes.

I've been quiet.

very quiet....

There are just some things you can't share with the world because there is so much going on and so much history that it's not worth it...

besides - there are times when the world shouldn't know becuase nothing good would come of it.

There have been times when I've wanted to use this space to throw someone under the bus..

drive the bus over them..

back the bus up...

drive over them again...

but what good would that do? nothing..

There are times when I want to whine and complain..

but without knowing the reasons - what good would it do but make you want to leave me a comment saying "SHUT UP! Stop whining and do something!!!" so I stayed silent....

There have been times when I opened up the page to write...

but nothing came...

I am here now - with nothing.

I have nothing left to give. I have nothing I can share...

I have nothing left.

My rock bottom (as I know it right now) was Friday. I was able - THANK YOU JESUS - to go hide out on Friday night and Saturday morning because my hiding spot is open. I was able to go and just spend some time alone. Saturday I woke up and wasn't right but still can't tell you what it was. I actually described it today as if every cell in my body was wanting to do it's own thing and go it's own way and not one was wanting to work together... and like that, I had to do Super Saturday.

This is where I'm was and where I'm at. Under a complete and utter attack from the evil one. Not only spiritually but mentally, emotionally and physically.

However.....

On Thursday morning - I leave on an airplane to Vero Beach, Florida.

Remember this sight????

This is what I will be looking at on Thursday evening.. Friday morning - I will be in one of those white chairs... or just beyond the fence on the sand. I will have a book in hand, ipod in my bag and sunglasses on to watch the girls swim. Jess and Taylor are going too so it will be a good week.

So there you have it. I've been quiet. Life has been hard and just when you think it's as hard as it can get - it gets harder.

My hiding spot is open, I'm leaving on a jet-plane for a warm, sunny place, I will have my two oldest nieces with me. How can life be bad??

2009-04-12T11:31:00.000-04:00

2009-04-12T11:28:00.000-04:00

Some of my favorite sights....

2009-02-22T21:26:00.001-05:00

Tia, Kerby and Malakhi

Trent

Malakhi

Jose

another bump and a curve....

2009-02-03T20:23:00.004-05:00

Just when I thought I would be able to get back on the bandwagon of blogging, especially with the new "book" I would like to write, you hit a bump or a curve.. or just when you think you push the "resume" button on your cruise - you have a semi truck barreling down on you and you have to slam on the brakes of life.

I had to slam on the brakes when I found out earlier in the day exactly a week ago that one of my best friends had a brain tumor and was going to have brain surgery in 2 days. We knew there were issues with something back in November when she had a seizure but things were going well after that. Then all the sudden she was confused, having headaches and having a hard time making her brain work in the order it should.

I'm glad to say that the surgery went very well and in an MRI after the surgery, they could not find any other "spots" or tumors that might have been hiding so that is a good sign. The pathology report came back as cancer which was expected from the doctors indications but the words still can take the wind out of you when you hear them. She's doing incredibly well. She was released from the hospital on Sunday already - before the superbowl game and still HAD to have a superbowl party so we took food down and watched the first half with her. Coordination is still off and writing is difficult but outside of that - she's really doing well. Radiaton and chemo will start soon.

All that to say - it's hard to write when this stuff is going on. There has been so much going on in the last 10 months that it's getting overwhelming at times but God is good and He will carry me through...

Back to my book.....

2009-01-24T12:55:00.002-05:00

I had great intentions of seriously writing posts about how to be an adult for dummies - but sometimes - the thoughts would hit to close to home.... If I'm going to do this - I CERTAINLY don't want to be writing about myself in it!!!! hahahaha...

anyway - A few chapters/entries that have been rolling around in my head are (real chapter titles will come as the entries are written):

1) If you want money to spend - Get a job!
2) When you have children - YOU are responsible for them!
3) Being responsible for children means - feeding, clothing, nuturing and educating them!
4) No one makes you act in any way - take responsibility for your actions!
5) Responsibility - let's try explaining it again!
6) Being an adult - means being an example! Sub chapter/entry would be: When trick or treating with your small children - do not expect candy also and furthermore - do not say "Give me some too!" (This will be a GOOD read!)
7. Don't expect to live for free. NOTHING is free.
8. Social skills are a must!!!!!!
9. Only animals deserve hand outs.
10. Give kids something to look UP to - not sideways or down to!

Any thoughts on other chapters/entries I could put together?? Who knows - maybe someday - you could have your name on a published book - right next to mine!!!! :)

Yep - this is my afternoon....

2009-01-10T17:05:00.006-05:00

Because of the weather today - we cancelled Super Saturday. Didn't really want to but - when you cram 25 kids in a 15 passenger van - it's safer this way... SO - this is what happened.... click on the link....

My Saturday with with the grandkids and no Super Saturday...... (this should now be working....)

Luckily - it's Kali's project.... and the kids are old enough to clean up after themselves.

First group shot of the year....

2009-01-04T22:49:00.003-05:00

We took this after church this morning. It's not the whole group - but it's the regular attenders.... Isn't it a good looking group of kids???

And now - the NEW camera shots....

2009-01-02T21:17:00.006-05:00

New Year's Eve Party with the girls (which doubles as a birthday party for Sarah who turned 13 on January 1)

Tia, Sarah and Mantie

Here's the table of food we had...

mini pies my aunt taught me about when I was there in the spring....

And the fun begins.... Destiny, Mantie, Sarah, Tia and Cindy...

Fruit to dip into chocolate. I loved the mixture of colors in this shot....

And more of the goodies... this doesn't include the pumpkin roll I made which turned out fabulous....

All the kids in front of the spread...

Jose and his birthday cake...

Sarah and her cake. We had to tip the cabbage patch doll backwards or the candles would have burned off her hair....

Jose loved the cake...

Jose on Tia's shoulder waiting for the gift exchange....

He LOVED the lollipop!!!!

Sarah was so excited to get this from Tia...

And the noise didn't quit for several hours...

More Christmas pictures...

2009-01-02T21:05:00.002-05:00

Great Grandma and Great Grandpa play with Evan... their youngest great grandchild....

Jessica and Taylor got cell phones for Christmas. They had them hanging on their pockets and Maya caught sight of them. She started pushing buttons when Jessica stopped walking... it was so funny to watch her follow Jessica around.

Maya and Evan - their Christmas picture... Not sure if my brother got one this cute or not of them.

Back when I wasn't getting a paycheck... I was trying to figure out what to do for the nieces and nephew for Christmas. I bought each of their first name initias from Hob*by Lob*by and painted them. Each was different. This one was Elizabeths.

Jessica and Taylor entertain Evan.

My brother Chris (he IS younger than me - even though he looks OLDER than me...) finally put Evan to sleep...

Makenna wants to be a chef when she grows up so my mom found an apron and a chef's hat for her. She opened that first and ripped off the santa hat she had on and passed out gifts with the chef's stuff on...

The girls were totally plugged in after opening gifts. Cell phones,
PSP, mp3 player, happy as can be....

Yearly Christmas picture 2008

2008-12-30T00:01:00.001-05:00

Here are the kiddos at Cmas....

Back row : Jessica, Taylor, Makenna, Sarah
Front row: Elizabeth, Maya and Evan

Over the holidays...

2008-12-28T22:56:00.003-05:00

What more could a girl ask for. All within 16 days I now have the three following things....

My new cell phone so I have my calendar right on me. It will link to my computer so I don't have to type things into 2 different places.... NOW I'm organized.
Believe it or not - these Uggs were basically a gift. They found them for $27.00 at Marshalls a few weeks ago and they bought the because if you know anything about Ugg boots - you know they cost a minimum of $120.00 or so. Amazingly - they fit my feet so now they're mine! My feet have never rejoiced so much before!!!! They finally stay warm!!!!

And for the HIGHLIGHT of my Christmas season....

I finally was able to purchase my new camera. I have wanted a good digital camera for a few years. The one I had I basically killed. It took 4,000 pictures so it was time it retired. I has been saving (well - I just never took it so I wouldn't spend it on anything else) Christmas and birthday money for 3 years my mom tells me. I don't remember exactly how long but I do know it's been a while. I went out last night and played with cameras and felt them and looked at them... Then went back today and bought the one I decided on. My brother and his wife just bought one exactly like this and I know he does his research... so I didn't have to dig as heavy into it.. NOW - I just need kids here to take pictures of!!! My bird got tired of the flash real fast....

I have had a VERY good, relaxing and enjoyable Christmas season... How about yours??

There will be more pictures from Christmas day to come....

And Festival of Lights 08 has started...

2008-12-04T22:04:00.000-05:00

Kerby (above) and Terrance (below) at the 2nd night of rehearsals are already crashed on the chairs in the back of the sanctuary while the show goes on. They were sleeping so hard, nothing phased them...

Keep watch for what's coming....

2008-12-02T06:51:00.003-05:00

Yes - I know it's been a long time but - come walk in my shoes for a few weeks and you'll understand why. I think I needed a little bit of a break too but you can only concentrate for so long on hundreds of different things so the blog had to go for a bit.

Ahead however, I'm hoping is something rather entertaining - and maybe even eye opening to some.

Here's a preview of the cover....

First thing I see when I get to work...

2008-11-07T12:56:00.000-05:00

These hand prints were on the back door when I got to work yesterday morning. One of the little ones was playing with sidewalk chalk in the parking lot and left these for us on the back door. It filled me with joy as i walked up and saw those little handprints on the door, knowing that kids are here, enjoying the time they spend with our volunteers and playing at the building every day - even in the midst of our horrific hurricane (not a storm) we are continuing to go through. No paychecks since the first of October, things getting really thin, knowing you have all these bills to pay, negativity seems to engulf you - but then you see something like these precious hand prints... Are they the handprints of one of our kids or of God??

Just a few shots from our Sunday last week at the camp...

2008-10-26T18:02:00.004-04:00

Our Sunday last week was taking the kids to Camp Scott-E. It's a camp that Urban Family owns now and the weather was perfect. We had a big bonfire and roasted hotdogs, marshmallows and took a nice walk in the woods.

Here's part of the group. It's most of it but not every one of them.

Mr. Dave and a couple of the boys get working on a fire for the hotdogs.

Ari checking on her marshmallow to make sure it's not on fire.

Johnny loving his roasted marshmallow. No need for graham crackers here!!! He just ate it right off the stick.

We did have some tears. This is Trent. He's 2 1/2. Come to find out - the kid was starving. He hadn't eaten since the night before at Super Saturday and this was around noon on Sunday. Once he got food in his belly he was a very different kid. It was so cute though. He walked over to a tree and just leaned into it like his life was just a mess. We were laughing so hard so I ran over and took a few pictures.

Being a "parent" of a high school senior means...

2008-10-26T17:42:00.004-04:00

Marion at the Homecoming assembly just before they announced the queen. It wasn't Marion unfortunately but we still think she's a queen.

Marion at her first football game. She had to walk down on the field with the whole court.

Mr. Wayne, Marion and Ms. Marla walked Marion down the field. They have mentored her and another friend of hers for 7-8 years so it was only right they walked her down. Then she won't get teased at school about her lesbian parents if Kali and I walked with her.

Mr. Wayne, Marion and Ms. Marla again.

long time...

2008-10-16T10:35:00.003-04:00

Yes - it's been a long time.

I know....

Not much I can do about it....

Still need prayer. LOTS of prayer.

If you live in Michigan - you know what I mean.

If you don't - check out the "status of the states" list. I'm sure there's one somewhere. You will find that Michigan is dead last. It HAS to be. We continue to have companies shutting down. We continue to have people jobless. Jobless means no money and the money people have is paying for their bills so they don't become homeless.

I work for a non-profit. Solely supported by people and churches who believe in what we are trying to do. People (and one church) that send money to us to be able to pay for the food we feed the kids, to pay for the gas we put in the vans to drive the kids miles and miles each week to each activity we hold, to pay for the craft supplies, to pay for the electricity that makes our lights work in the activity center, to pay for the electricity to run the computers that keep all the kids organized for all the different activities and.... to pay for the salaries of those who work there.

When there's people losing their jobs, they can't afford to give money to the non-profits. We totally understand that. But when there is no money to pay for stuff - including our salaries - how much longer can we go without getting pay checks???

We are at a critical point. We are trusting God. Pray with us as we are having to make some hard decisions.

Personal Reality....

2008-09-25T14:16:00.002-04:00

interesting two words aren't they??

Personal reality.

Here's my dissertation on those words...

We all have a sense of personal reality. We all have our own thoughts of the world and the life we live. We all have our own personal twists to things. That's why when you see an accident - there are different details about the accident. What we see as real, might not be what is real. Many of us can conjure up things in our minds that are just not true - but to us - and in our perception they are very true...

The problem is - how distorted do we allow our own personal reality to get? Or - what happens when someone's personal reality becomes so distorted they can not see the true reality?

The biggest question is - how do you draw someone back from their personal reality into the true reality???

pray - pray hard.....

2008-09-23T20:26:00.003-04:00

I can't give details nor will I ever be able to. I can't say anything but this is the fastest way to get it out that a friend of mine needs super duper amounts of prayer right now. Just pray please...

Have in common???

2008-09-22T22:47:00.002-04:00

What does a shovel, 10:30pm and a zoo all have in common???

..

..

..

..

..

you'll never get it so don't even try.....

The hamster met Jesus tonight. It was time. He has been sick. He kept getting these abcesses which from what I've researched - found it was pretty normal - so we just let him work through them. He would continue to eat and drink but tonight when I saw him - we knew it was time for him to go. He had one (I think) under his ear and it was just nasty. He was acting wierd and then when I checked the box he sleeps in - there were flies. That was the deciding factor. I've lived on a farm. I know what an open wound and flies have in common. MAGGETS!!! So - Kali and I looked at each other. I said - "I can't do it." She looked at me and said "There's no way I can do it and look at Sarah in the face." so - we called in the reinforcements.. Big Harry from next door. I put gloves on, pulled him out of his cage - put him in a check box and went to dig a hole. Can I just say we have GREAT neighbors?? Big Harry came over and introduced the hamster to his new heavenly home and then even put him in the "grave" and covered it back up for us.

Sarah won't know for a while that her hamster is gone. She's having such a hard time in Missouri right now. She's lonely and I think she's very upset that her sister is living with us and shes not. She wants to but she's not and Marion is. I'm sure she doesn't even realize it yet but I would bet that is part of the trouble...

After just saying maybe an hour before there really isn't much to blog about because I'm just so busy with work and organizing kids right now - the hamster passes on... so you get a blog entry.. Lucky you.. :)