Candace's Welcome to the Family party

Candace and her cake

Candace opening gifts and Maya helping. Maya and her brother and parents drove from Terre Haute, IN on Friday night - got into GR at 1am just to suprise Candace and I on Saturday.

Reading her card before opening her gift.

Candace with all her gifts just before we unloaded. This is a 15 passenger van and it took up 3 full seats!!!!

I'm a MOM!!!!!

For those of you who haven't heard yet, last week, I became a mom to this 16 year old in the picture with me.. She's the darker one in case you're having trouble figuring out who the 16 year old is with my youthfulness look! LOL!!! It was a whirlwind really - put the papers in on Friday - had a court date on Thursday - 7 days later! That's unheard of. Both of her parents are deceased so there wasn't anyone to serve papers to so we could get it done! She's lived with me all summer so it really isn't changing much but now she can unpack her bags and hopefully realize and feel this is forever. She has been bounced from family to family within her extended family for almost 3 years now. She's smart, beautiful, intellegent, wise and just an all around good girl who has been treated wrongly and not cared for as God would want her to be cared for. Now she can be safe and learn to trust - over time - that we are a forever family.

thursday, august 27, 2009

This is the day that will forever be marked on my calendar. It's the day I become a mom. Usually - we only know this if we are having a c-section - but I know this because I am becoming guardian of a 16 year old girl from the neighborhood that needs a mom to walk through the rest of life with her. Both parents have been passed for almost 3 years now and the rest of the family has - well - not sure what you call it - but it's definately not taken good care of her. No one stepped up to be her guardian - so I am. I turned papers in on Friday and on the following Thursday - we have a court date...

Will post pictures once it all goes down.

Middle of summer...

Wish there was an easy way to update this. It's hard to write on here at times in your life and I'm still in that funk.

I have seen many many ways that God has moved and worked over the last few months. In definately amazing ways and we are still waiting for Him to move in other ways. I've been asked this and have asked it myself but - wonder if anyone can tell me...

"How do you know when God's shutting a door?"

"How do you know when God's talking to you and you KNOW it's from God and not satan messin' with your head?"

"How do you continue with ministry when you know people are working behind your back to sabatoge?"

"How do you know when you're the one self sabatoging?"

These are just a few questions I've asked or have been asked the last few months and just really can't seem to answer these questions so am looking foward to your thoughts and ideas..

quiet... very quiet.....

yes.





I've been quiet.





very quiet....





There are just some things you can't share with the world because there is so much going on and so much history that it's not worth it...





besides - there are times when the world shouldn't know becuase nothing good would come of it.





There have been times when I've wanted to use this space to throw someone under the bus..





drive the bus over them..





back the bus up...





drive over them again...





but what good would that do? nothing..





There are times when I want to whine and complain..





but without knowing the reasons - what good would it do but make you want to leave me a comment saying "SHUT UP! Stop whining and do something!!!" so I stayed silent....





There have been times when I opened up the page to write...





but nothing came...





I am here now - with nothing.





I have nothing left to give. I have nothing I can share...





I have nothing left.





My rock bottom (as I know it right now) was Friday. I was able - THANK YOU JESUS - to go hide out on Friday night and Saturday morning because my hiding spot is open. I was able to go and just spend some time alone. Saturday I woke up and wasn't right but still can't tell you what it was. I actually described it today as if every cell in my body was wanting to do it's own thing and go it's own way and not one was wanting to work together... and like that, I had to do Super Saturday.





This is where I'm was and where I'm at. Under a complete and utter attack from the evil one. Not only spiritually but mentally, emotionally and physically.





However.....





On Thursday morning - I leave on an airplane to Vero Beach, Florida.





Remember this sight????

This is what I will be looking at on Thursday evening.. Friday morning - I will be in one of those white chairs... or just beyond the fence on the sand. I will have a book in hand, ipod in my bag and sunglasses on to watch the girls swim. Jess and Taylor are going too so it will be a good week.

So there you have it. I've been quiet. Life has been hard and just when you think it's as hard as it can get - it gets harder.

My hiding spot is open, I'm leaving on a jet-plane for a warm, sunny place, I will have my two oldest nieces with me. How can life be bad??